Resistance is Futile: It will Impede Your Weight-Loss Journey Everytime
TODAY...I want to share with you how I learned to get married and how it directly correlates to the weight-loss process or ANYTHING you really want to change in life.
Yes, I learned to get married...it was alien territory for me.
When I was dating my husband, I actually had some extreme anxiety and much of the time we were dating, although I really cared about him, deep down I was scared to death because I didn't know how to be in a lifetime marriage partnership.
I didn't know how to yet because I'd never done it.
My brain subconsciously thought it should have been easier.
My brain subconsciously thought there should be no struggle to learn to do this.
And even though I had studied relationships extensively from the tons of classes I took, the tons of books I read and my coaching prep,this instinctive resistance was there.
And the only reason was, is because I hadn't done it before and been successful at it.
I had dated for YEARS, always wanted to be married, and NEVER figured out how.
When we haven't been successful at something after trying and trying, the semi-conscious, subconscious and sometimes conscious "evidence" builds up for WHY IT WILL NEVER WORK.
Sound familiar?
Ever heard yourself say anything like that when it comes to weight-loss or anything else you really want to change?
And ironically, this "evidence", which is hogwash, (although it feels so dang true) is what keeps us from being successful-in ANYTHING WE ARE TRYING TO CHANGE.
This same process happens in the brain with everything we've tried and NOT YET been successful at.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
You know what my hubby always told me when I was feeling lots of anxiety as we were dating?
"RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."
But he also said this because he had enough confidence and trust in himself to see that that it could totally work out great between us.
He said it because he understood that my brain was creating resistance, stuck-ness and anxiety by thinking of the ways it couldn't work.
The difference for him was that he chose to allow himself to see all the reasons it could totally work instead of focusing on any reason it might not.
I, reiterate, I TOTALLY resisted seeing all the reasons it could work or that I was capable of figuring out how it could work.
I WAS RESISTING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY...
AND I DIDN'T REALIZE IT.
C'mon...DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?
I was resisting by only focusing on the reasons it probably wouldn't work...which is what I had done in ALL my previous relationships.
My resistance sounded like this in my head:
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS COULD WORK
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THIS IS HARD
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT
HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?
I'LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM
THE WHOLE THING, HIS LIFE, MY LIFE IS TOO COMPLICATED
And my hubby could see what my mind was doing to me, he could see me resisting and only looking at the negative reasons why it wouldn't work.
So when he said RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, he wasn't trying to convince me to marry him from a creepy controlling space, he was trying to help me process my own thoughts.
He truly has this gift of wisdom, emotional processing maturity and I SO needed that patience and example.
God bless him truly.
HOW THIS RELATES TO WEIGHT-LOSS AND
ANY CHANGE IN LIFE
I hear the same resistance thoughts from my clients who are working to lose weight, working to improve relationships, working to heal past hurts, working to build businesses or working to be amazing in their jobs:
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THIS IS HARD
I CAN'T
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT
HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?
I'LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM
THE WHOLE THING, MY LIFE, THIS PROCESS IS TOO COMPLICATED
When we are stuck in resisting, other wise known as telling ourselves it's too hard, we can't do it, we aren't capable etc..., we DON'T CHANGE, WE CAN'T CHANGE.
THE CONCEPTS THAT FINALLY HELPED ME LEARN TO GET MARRIED AND FULFILL MY HEART'S DREAM
And that will help you truly make a permanent change too...
In the back of my mind, even though I was focusing on all the reasons our relationship wouldn't work, there were a couple of thoughts that were kind of quiet but were there.
This is what they were:
I have to do something different if I want a different result.
I have to figure out how to do something different this time.
I can't keep repeating this same pattern any more.
I have to figure this out.
It was these thoughts that kept me in the relationship until my mind was able to finally CHOOSE TO "see" all the A-FREAKING-MAZING reasons why John was the perfect partner for me and why I was the perfect partner for him and why it could totally work.
IT WAS A CHOICE.
I didn't realize that I was subconsciously choosing not to see all the ways and reasons I could love him and choose him.
I couldn't see how I was blocking my own progress, my own emotional growth.
I finally figured out to choose to do things differently and say yes over the altar and the strength and crazy amount of freedom I've felt since is incredible.
IT'S ALWAYS A CHOICE TO CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FOCUS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LEARN TO:
LOVE
LOSE WEIGHT
GET THROUGH A DIFFICULT PROJECT
IMPROVE AND HEAL RELATIONSHIPS or
BE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR BUSINESS
This is what I want to offer you today.
If you are struggling with your weigh-loss process, or your relationships, your work, your business, or your life, you are resisting mentally and emotionally by subconsciously or consciously telling yourself one of the following:
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS COULD WORK
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THIS IS HARD
I CAN'T
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT
HOW AM I EVER GOING TO JOIN MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE?
I'LL LOSE ALL MY FREEDOM
THE WHOLE THING, MY LIFE, THIS PROCESS IS TOO COMPLICATED
And as long as you stay here, you will not create lasting change. THE END.
SO, if you'd like to really create lasting change, please lovingly tell yourself:
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
TELLING MYSELF IT'S HARD, I CAN'T, I'M NOT CAPABLE ETC...IS FUTILE...
Instead I invite you to take a couple of slow, deep breaths and re-focus your mind to:
I have to do something different if I want a different result.
I can figure out how to do something different this time.
I can choose to do what it takes no matter what to figure this out.
I can choose to believe I can do this.
Because, my friend, you can.
STOPPING RESISTANCE TRULY is freedom.
My hubby sent me this today after reading this post and I had to add it:
Merriam Webster:
Futile: adjective
fu·tile
ˈfyü-tᵊl, ˈfyü-ˌtī(-ə)l
- 1: serving no useful purposeThis very first definition in the dictionary tells us what this really means. Resisting just does not work.It is the same for eating, emotions. Resisting does not work.
I love you.
Have a wonderful week!
Emotional Healing Expert
CERTIFIED LIFE-COACH, WEIGHT-LOSS COACH, RELATIONSHIP & HEALING COACH
Candy Wright Coaching @ CandyWright.com
p.s. If you'd like to get more help in learning to REALLY STOP RESISTING to create lasting change & Stop Emotional Overeating and Lose Weight for good...CLICK THE "SCHEDULE APPOINTMENT"
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